goals

half a self portrait 

with turning sixteen and having this new sense of freedom, i have been so inspired to go and make something of my life. it never really seemed important to me until now. i had no clue what i truly wanted and loved to do until this past year. my childhood, "what i want to be when i grow up" dreams of being an ice cream truck driver or scooping ice cream at baskin robbins were long gone. between then and now, i had no clue. now i'm finally seeing what it is i would really love to do for a living. i have developed a passion for all things photography and small gatherings and togetherness. i cannot open an issue of kinfolk magazine without being struck by this strong desire to do what they do and be a part of that lifestyle. i can't follow along these blogs centered around photography and family and exploring the world or even your own city. it is what i myself have grown to love to do. kinfolk released a job opportunity today for an internship in their offices in portland for the spring. just three months. but three months is all i'd really need. if i were eighteen i would pack up and move out there to get started right now. the fear of going to a foreign place alone overpowered by the desire to do something and get out of my comfort zone and live. if i could convince my mother to temporarily move out there for those three months so i could explore my opportunities, that would be a dream. all we would need is a cheap little apartment, we could travel by all of their public transportation options. unfortunately, she wouldn't really be able to drop everything for me for three whole months and leave everyone and all her motherly duties here at home. my dependency on my parents is still holding me back. my goals are to do something like this sometime between now and the day i turn eighteen. i am set on moving out there the first chance i get and doing something with my life. i don't want to be stuck with a boring, everyday, average office job that i hate like the majority of my family always has. i'm not going to sit around and wait for something to happen anymore.

- m